My grandmother Patton used to make "patchwork" quilts. These were made of random pieces of fabric (usually, but not always cut in same-size rectangles) sewn together, then bound with whatever batting she could find (She was a Mom during the great depression and found uses for everything). My "Grandma Patton" quilts were cool because you never knew what you would get. So, think of this blog as a Grandma Patton quilt - random stuff strung together with pieces that may not match.


First and most important to our homesick psyche, we found a REAL grocery store in Phnom Penh. It has a parking lot for cars (about 20 out front, same in the back), grocery carts (all four wheels turn) and room for two people in a single aisle - HEAVEN!! It's products included Kraft Mayonnaise (I thought Erin was going to cry on the spot), Molasses, Clorox wipes, flyswatter and Calcium pills (it was a large Kirkland brand bottle :-)). The imported goods were expensive as you would expect. But our tuna fish sandwich with REAL mayo was worth almost any price.

Patchwork piece #2. There are ants in my laptop. They crawl out of the hinges and USB inputs, and squeeze in through the tiny crack surrounding the keyboard keys (they like the numbers for some reason). There's probably an entire PUDFA (Planned Unit Development For Ants) inside, complete with a luxury suite for a queen. #%&%!!! I've tried wiping everything down with vinegar and even put the laptop in the fridge overnight - hoping Cambodian ants have no cold tolerance. But the ants keep marching one-by-one. I've found some weird online ideas which I'll try, but I'm open to anyone who has found a workable solution.

Patchwork piece #3. Brownout. We're used to occasional power outages - they're annoying, but the power usually comes back on in a couple of hours. But a brownout was new to us. We noticed our bedroom getting warm about 12:30 a.m., then saw that the AC had shut off (but it would still beep if you clicked the remote). A light worked (most of the lights in our house are LED) so we knew the power wasn't off, but NONE of the AC units in the house worked. Yet, the microwave clock and the Wifi seemed fine (couldn't check the laptop because it was in the fridge). We turned on a fan and could hear the motor, but the blades didn't move. I hand-flipped the blades and they stayed on at a constant, albeit slow, speed. Got it!! Brownout! We laid down and listened to a wedding party (they go non-stop for 48 hours straight) while a speaker blared wedding music over and over and over. It's like listening to "It's a small world after all" on repeat mode for hours. We fell asleep about 4 a.m., but were wakened by the dogs and roosters at 5:30. Grrrrrr.., I pulled the laptop out of the fridge and started doing this blog (the brownout hasn't bothered the ants - I've killed 4, 6, 7, 10, 12) already this morning). The power came on full strength about 7.



Patchwork piece #4. Yesterday was my birthday. We had lunch with the missionaries then had them all over for cake. Erin made my favorite (whole wheat carrot cake with creamed cheese frosting) - which was made possible by a box of REAL cream cheese ($5 each). We watched a cheesy video (haha) called "The Phone Call" because one of the senior missionaries had a bit part (when he was MUCH younger). It's a 1970's version of Napoleon Dynamite, sprinkled with Johnny Lingo. It's cheesy beyond belief, so be warned if you look it up on YouTube.

I'm now past 20 ants, so it's time for something drastic.... I've heard Windex solves all the world's problems :-)

We got a new vehicle - Yay! It's a Diesel Toyota 4 Runner (they call it a "Fortuner") with plenty of clearance. It's actually nicer and bigger than we need, but the smaller ones (Rav4 and Highlander) were more money. Go figure. Anyway, we no longer worry about getting stranded in the back woods. Getting lost is a different story. We go out visiting with the locals who don't deal with maps, East, West, miles, kilometers or distance. It's "turn left here, go straight and stop. We should label our car the "maze runner."

We held our July 4th party on July 11th (several of the missionaries had to go to the capitol on the 4th, so we postponed the celebration until the 11th) here at our house. It was fun. We had a pot luck lunch which consisted of Pringles, Starbursts, Oreos, watermelon, spaghetti, baguettes and Erin's apple crisp (with spray-on whipped cream at $8 a can). The missionaries talked, laughed and reminisced about their relatively short lives (most have no memory of 9/11 or before). We talked about what we appreciated most in the US - it was interesting. Even

18 year-olds recognize the value of clean water, basic sanitation and machines that work. Hopefully when these young missionaries return, they will appreciate the sacrifices of so many who have made our country what it is. We hear occasional snippets about Trump and Clinton and what will happen to our country if either is elected. It's small potatoes compared to rudimentary sanitation. I hold firm that the USA is bigger than any one president - including those on the ballots today. We survived Nixon, Carter, Bush and Obama. We'll make it through whoever is elected.

Yesterday we walked jungle trails to several small huts and experienced 1st and 3rd world contrasts in a very personal way. At one hut we visited a lady who had what we believe was an autistic son. The Mom just said he had "brain problems." The son (an adult) was wearing ragged jeans about 10 sizes too big. A rope was strung through the front two belt loops, then slung over his shoulder and tied to a belt loop in the back. No shirt, no shoes. And he was chained to a post just inside the hut to keep him from wandering off. It was wrenching. Health care is evolving in Cambodia, and it will get better. But it's hard to watch. I'll take either Clinton or Trump any day.

Jews and Christians alike believe in the return of the Messiah. Prophets of old as well as current day have testified that He will come with "healing in his wings." I hope He makes Cambodia His first stop.

What a difference 3 hours can make. At 11 a.m. we can be shopping for a violin in a modern music store in Phnom Penh (except no AC). By 2 p.m. we're in the hillbilly backyard of Kampong Cham - sharing our message with rice farmers and water buffaloes. The old, the middle and the new live side-by-side-by-side. The one constant among all the groups is long working hours. 8 to 5 doesn't exist for most people in Cambodia - unless you work for the government or an NGO (Non-Government Organization). It's dawn (about 5:30 a.m.) to dusk (about 6:30 p.m.) for most people, 7 days/week. EXCEPT the afternoon siesta period (about Noon to about 2 p.m.) when EVERYONE watches this cheesy soap opera from India. We walk into a store and nobody moves. All are fixated on a small CRT TV screen - watching "As the World Turns in Mumbai" (I'm sure that's not what it's called, but it might as well be). It's a perfect time for a robbery - except all the thieves are also watching the same dumb show.

SQUIRREL! Back to the farm.

Today we helped a family shell lotus pods. As we understood it (which could be totally wrong) they wade into the backyard swamp and harvest pods that are extensions of lotus plants. They are flat on one side, rounded up on the other, and about 4 inches in diameter across the flat side. Each rubbery pod contains about 25 acorn-sized "seeds." When the outer green covering of the seed is removed (easy to do), a tasty white-fleshed "kernel" remains. It tastes like a cross between sweet peas and water chestnuts. However, you must do a personal memory wipe of where the seeds came from before eating them. The swamps are disgusting. We brought two pods home and will disinfect them in our chlorine water (which seems like it should have its own side effects) before throwing them in a stir fry.

As always, the people are genuine in spite of the swamps. Their testimonies of, and faith in the Savior are pristine. Those that can read, do so with humility. Their prayers are always sincere. Some day their living conditions will change - but not their faith in God. I hope I can "be in that number" to watch these saints when they come marching in.

We were told to note the things that are new or unusual as soon as they happen - because over time they become normal, and you don't notice them anymore. So for us, the Mekong River is a benchmark object. The river has now risen about 10 feet in the past 5 weeks. Considering its size, that is amazing (to us anyway). But this happens EVERY year, so it's not amazing to any of the locals. It will rise at least 10 - 20 feet more before it reaches it's peak height. We were asked why Kampong Cham exists as a city. Smarty-pants Erin immediately said, "the bridge." It's true.

The bridge was built in 2001 through a $56 million grant from Japan and was the first bridge built over the Mekong River in Cambodia (https://www.google.com.kh/maps/@11.988381,105.4625001,1791m/data=!3m1!1e3?hl=en). For our city, it connected East and West. It's as significant for Cambodia as the joining of the rail lines was for the US back in the 1800's. Well, enough history.



6 weeks old

I lost about 10 pounds in my first month here, and gained them all back yesterday. We went to a church member's home, where we were fed BBQ spare ribs, ground pork omelets, fish soup with bamboo shoots, stir-fry frog with spicy green beans and steamed rice. It was all delicious - although the frog had a ton of little bones (what would you expect?). We shared a short lesson with them, then the Mom took us to a little commune behind the rubber plantation, where several church members lived that no one knew about. The Elders and I joined the Dad to give their newborn a blessing (their first child). I think the blessing will be as beneficial for the parents as it will be for the baby. First-time Moms and Dads are always wondering if they are doing things "right." Parenthood is a HUGE responsibility - yet Heavenly Father trusts parents with His precious children. He hopes they will teach them to be good and kind, and help each other. Some day all parents will give an account of their family stewardship to the Father of all. He doesn't expect perfection (none of us would pass that test - just ask my children) and he knows that children are born into challenging circumstances. All He asks of us is to do our best and follow His manual (the best parenting manual I know of is found in Mosiah chapters 2-5).

Mangosteen (front) and Durian tree (back)

This good family is part of four generations residing in two middle class houses, surrounded by coconut, durian and mangosteen trees. The family runs an orchard - harvesting fruit and selling to local market vendors. They picked fresh mangosteens off the tree for us, then hacked down a cluster of green coconuts for coconut milk. Cutting the coconuts for milk is an art form. First they shear off the bottom to make it flat (so it can sit on a surface like a cup). The artist then machete's off the top just enough to allow a straw to poke down into the milk. After you drink the milk, the artist whacks the coconut in half, so you can scrape out the soft, just-forming coconut insides. It's delicious - and super low calorie (NOT). We ended our day with pumpkin coconut milk soup (Erin) and coconut curry soup with vegetables (me) - followed up by two magnum ice cream bars from the gas station ($2 each!). I blew up a calculator trying to add up the calories.

Elder Lamborn

Sister Um

Elder Walker

Today has been by far the WORST day of our mission. We said good-bye to 3 of our Kampong Cham missionaries who had been transferred to other areas. We were warned that this would be a hard day - but it was impossible to prepare for it. We remember leaving our own children at the doors of the MTC - tearfully waving farewell as they joined new families for the next 18 - 24 months. But we knew they would be coming back. However, there are no such guarantees on transfer day. We have fully invested ourselves into these faithful men and women - recognizing today that we might never see them again. They have adopted us as temporary parents, and we have loved them as children. It was wrenching. And it's going to happen again and again and again. We were somewhat prepared for uncomfortable living conditions, mad dashes to bathrooms and not being able to speak or understand a foreign language. But we WEREN'T prepared for this emotional loss. I wonder if Heavenly Father had similar feelings as he hugged his departing children - one by one - and sent them down the chute to Earth.

 We had our first disappointing experience with dishonesty this week. Sister Christensen's  iPhone came up missing from the Church on Sunday. The members, missionaries and the guards searched the building and called the phone multiple times - but no luck. On Monday Sister Christensen e-mailed us and said they had traced the phone using the "find my phone" app. It activated when someone plugged the phone in to charge it (isn't it truly amazing that technology can do that - thousands of miles away from home).

The app gave a satellite image of the location - right down to the roof top. It was in a small village about 20 minutes away. I called two Elders and we set out to track it down. As we drove down a tiny dirt path to the 4th shack on the left, the weekend guard of the church building comes out front to greet us. I was heart sick. I really liked guy and was disappointed to think that he took the phone - especially when he helped us look for it. We asked him about the phone and he said he didn't know anything. We don't have authority for a search warrant, so there wasn't much we could do at that point. But there was no question that the phone was at that location. We started for home, then talked about going back to confront him again. We felt he needed to know the potential consequences he would face if he really did take it. We prayed about it and decided going back was the right thing to do.

We showed him the satellite images - pointing directly to his hut. And we told him that losing his job was a strong possibility if he had it. But he still denied it. We told him all we could do at that point was to call his Security Company and report the incident - which we did. The Security Company told us to tell him to either give back the phone or go to jail. We didn't feel that was our call, so we gave them the guard's number and told them to call him.

We drove away for the second time - but didn't get 100 yards along the road before we were flagged down by a woman. She said she was the ex-wife of the guard (they got divorced three days prior) and was a member of the LDS church, but hadn't been active for a long time. She said she wanted to come back to church activity and needed the missionaries to teach her children - who didn't know much about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Huh??? Where did THIS come from? If this were in a book, the reader would call it VERY convenient - and probably put the book down. But it happened in real life, and I was there.

Meanwhile, the Security Company found their local Company honcho and asked him to go get the phone from the guard. So on the third trip to the bad guard's house, the honcho collected the phone from the bad guard's father (the Dad told his son that if he had the phone he needed to give it back). And by 1 p.m. Monday, the phone was in my hands (minus the SIM card). The bad guard has obviously lost his job - and may go to jail depending on what the Security Company does. And for what??? $50 maybe for a used iPhone with a crack in the glass? I feel bad for him and hope he can pull his act together without spending time in a muggy, spider-infested Cambodian jail cell. Really dumb.

I'm telling you that you can't make this stuff up! No detective writer could EVER plot the real story that happened in the backwaters of Cambodia, June 26-27, 2016. It could only happen in real life. Those of you familiar with Nephi's trip to obtain the brass plates will note the similarities. Yes, we had to get the phone. But the side story had to occur as well. There IS order in the universe and someone very smart has planned it out.

The rainy season is here and the Mekong river is rising. It's gone up about a foot since we got here. Considering that the river is as wide as the Mississippi, a one foot rise is a ton of water. The Mekong starts in the Mountains of Tibet, brushes by Myanmar, then winds through Laos, Thailand, Cambodia and Viet Nam - where it exits into the South China sea. Our morning walks/runs are gorgeous as we traipse along the river's edge. The city is making a major effort to keep the "river walk" clean. Workers are out early pulling weeds from the paver cracks and sweeping litter from the curbs and walk ways. Other workmen are busy building "sea wall" foundations - so the river walk can be extended. Family fishermen troll the waters then deliver their small catches (usually 3-4 fish at a time) to waiting motos - who take the live fish to the market. At the market, the fish are placed in water tubs where they remain active until purchased.

 

The rainy season is also the life blood of the rice fields. Most are now planted and thriving with the daily downpours. As we drove to Kampong Thom on Tuesday (a small city about 2 hours away) we passed through thousands of acres of rice seedlings growing among occasional coconut palms. The native beauty of this impoverished nation makes up for the inconveniences of 3rd world living.

At Kampong Thom we did our first apartment inspection for the four Elder missionaries in the town. They were supposed to know we were coming, but apparently the communication stream didn't make it to the end of the paddy. The apartment was remarkably clean - considering we caught them unawares. And we also saw fitness ingenuity at its best (the makeshift bar bells).

The next day we paid a cordial visit to the Kampong Cham Province police commissioner. We felt it would be good for him to know we were in town (he knew) and to do some major kissing up in case any of the missionaries had an "issue" in the future. He reassured us that foreigners were safe in his city and gave us his gold-glittered business card with his personal number on it, in case we had any problems (the country loves glittery stuff). Always good to have the law on your side.

Our biggest sacrifice so far - outside of leaving our children and grand children - has been sitting on concrete, wood or dirt for hours at a time. Maybe when we were younger (a LOT younger) we could have done this without difficulty. Butt not now (we thought our bummer years were behind us). It's like we've transferred all our fanny fat to other places - leaving old bones to groan on wooden planks or concrete tile. The bookend to the experience is getting up after lesson sessions.  We wobble upright on sleepy feet and creaky joints. We look like newborn giraffes taking their first steps.

Our favorite experience of the week was teaching the local Khlmaes how to sing "She'll be comin' round the mountain" during English class - complete with hand actions and sounds. They have no context for a mountain or large white horses. But they CLEARLY understand killing a chicken for dinner. It was a lot of fun.

Well....Ix-Nay on the street-side sugar cane juice. We are alive, but not without bouts of intestinal rejection. We will stick with the safe stuff. Saturday evening we had another major rainstorm. We remembered part way through that we needed milk for Sunday (we invited all the missionaries over to our place for a family home evening - complete with home-made brownies). We waited until about 8 p.m. when most of the rain stopped, but the moat had returned. Driving through a narrow lake with water up to your axle is a little freaky. You hope the road is solid underneath - but you can't see it. Milk is the most expensive purchase we make on a regular basis. It costs $4.20 for 2 liters (about $8/gallon - if you could buy a gallon). Boxed milk (which is delicious) is the same price. We also paid $3.10 for a Lindt Swiss-Chocolate candy bar (100g). Erin is carefully parsing it out (3 tiny squares/day) to make it last. Real milk chocolate is a true luxury.

Solar lantern

The family home evening with the missionaries was great. We showed them the you-tube video of the 3 year-old girl singing "Gethsemane." If you haven't seen it, I recommend it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWIx24J00Wc). We then had each share their favorite scripture story about Jesus. Just as we ended the power went out (major thunder storm). We turned on our solar-powered lantern and sang the hymn, "Master, the tempest is raging." It was awesome. The missionaries have great voices so we had full harmony. We cut up the brownies and ate them by lantern and device light. Mmmmmnm.